i feel kind of terrible right now. nothing's wrong with me, just depressed. since friday i realized i have been feeling a little sad in general... almost disappointed, but not at anything particular. i hope it's pms but it's really rather early for that.
anyway i feel like shit - i just feel trampled on. lifeless, even. i feel like nothing happened this entire weekend, even though stuff did. fought a bunch today, with t and my mom. it's really depressing because we'd been getting along so good, and my mom is going to australia tomorrow for two weeks. in both cases i feel like i need to just back down and apologize, but i really don't want to. w/ t i basically have, but i still feel like shit about it. my mom and i were arguing about apartment stuff. i said, trying to refer to my dad, that i would probably move a lot of stuff out of my storage space by myself and they didn't really need to be involved. my mom took this as me not wanting her to help me move in and got really mad. when i said that during moving we had often not been nice, and i wanted to avoid that, she got even madder, because she thinks she's always been nice.
she also doesn't remember the big fight we had on the phone before i moved back from chicago about that very same thing. a fight that had me so mad that i begged tim to come and do it with me (a very big deal) and if not i was definitely getting ready to beg ags to come instead. (a very big hassle, although it might've been a little fun too ;)
the problem is moving out, though, i guess, moving in is not so much of a problem. but i've always been mad about what happened the first time i moved out and they always act like they can't imagine why, and i guess it just has me so irritated that i don't want to risk it again, because i'll just go crazy. i really will. at some random time when it doesn't even make any sense.
i'm just sick of everything always being my fault, getting blamed and yelled at for everything by the people i care most about, and i feel like if i'm such a bitch why don't they just go away and leave me alone.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
nice beckoning udderoneton noodles hanging in the e bodicilicious.
HA! i am sorry, but the annoymous comment is just too funny for such a serious post.
ok we need to talk. tonight. i have a concert that i need to go to, but i shouldnt be home too late. especially if it decides to rain (which i secretly hope it does)
me also depressed. for typical selfish reasons. not as worthy as yours.
Hey Becky! It's Chavelli... how are you doing? I got the link to your blog from Rin-On. I hope everything is going well in spite of this post. Don't feel to down, this will only get better! :)
Post a Comment